Another Troy Renck Lame Quote

5/3/2009 "It takes two hands and two feet to list the number of hitters he's helped revive." Troy E. Renck, joking about Clint Hurdle, we hope, because there is no indication that Hurdle has ever revived the career or batting stroke of any major or minor league hitter, including himself. But maybe Renck, who has never been known for his accuracy or clarity, is referring to Clint's CPR prowess, which enables him to revive hitters that may have fainted or been knocked out by a pitch while following Rockies' hitting coach Don Baylor's technique of "using your head" to hit the ball. Or maybe when Troy writes "helped revive", he means by referring them to a competent hitting coach. More likely, Troy doesn't mean the fingers and toes on two hands and two feet, just two hands plus two feet, or 4. Hurdle may have "helped revive" four hitters who have passed out. That is possible, if not likely. But not nearly as unlikely as the claim that Clint Hurdle has revived the batting stroke of 20 hitters, not counting little leaguers.

LAST PLACE!!!

Clint Hurdle had to have fallen asleep last night, the last day of June, 2008, because there is simply no other explanation for what happened to the Rockies.

It was certainly hot enough, the temperature nestled in the high 80's at game time, with no breeze to cool Miller/Coors Field. Besides, the Rockies had an 8-3 lead in the top of the sixth, what could happen?

Clint must have gone to the happy snoring place and didn't notice that De La Rosa and Speier gave up 5 runs to tie the game.

He surely could not have been awake when some knucklehead sent in the closer, Brian "Tito" Fuentes, in the ninth with the game knotted at 8 runs apiece.

He had to be snoozing, of course, because no Major League manager would ever put his closer into a tie game, so one of the players, probably Troy Tulowitzki, must have picked up the phone and pretended he was Clint calling for Tito.

Fuentes must have been shocked and not properly warmed up, because he was three runs down before he even knew what was happening.

Somebody must have awakened Vizcaino and sent him out in a daze, because he dished up two tantalizing gopher balls to Gerut and Gonzalez which were promptly smashed out of the park.

Former Rockie farmhand Jody Gerut's blast came with two runners on base while Edgar Gonzalez' solo shot was his 4th hit of the night.

Clint couldn't have awoken for the bottom of the ninth, because he never would have pinch-hit for legendary slugger Todd Helton, and if he did, he certainly would not have substituted Scott "Poodle" Podsednick, the light, almost imperceptibe-hitting outfielder, especially with Todd going 2 for 4 on the night with a ringing RBI double off Greg Maddux in the fourth.

There is just no way Clint would have done that, no way. No way he would let San Diego slip past Colorado, leaving them mired in last place, no way.

Way.

Rockies Illustrate Why Showing Up Another Team is Dangerous

On Opening Day, Friday, April 4^th, 2008, at Coors/Molsen Field in Denver, with all eyes glued to the huge video screen in center field, including those of the visiting Arizona Diamondbacks, scenes of the Rockies’ victory over the that same Arizona team were played, including the last out of the series made by nemesis Eric Byrnes on a desperate head-first slide into first base.

Showing up the Diamondbacks like that is something that is seldom seen in professional sports because it is poor sportsmanship, of course, but also because it gives the other team more motivation to beat your team. The Rockies are paying for their snide gesture toward Arizona in spades. So far, they have lost their first five games to the D’Backs by scores of 8-1, 7-2, 5-2, 8-2, and 10-3. That’s a margin of 38 to 10 if you’re counting.

The Rockies finally beat Arizona on April 13th, 13-5. But when they returned to Phoenix on May 13th, they resumed losing, 8-4, 4-3, and 8-5, running their season record to 1-8.

Arizona has begun the 2008 season as the hottest team in baseball and are amassing what may prove to be an insurmountable 11 game lead over the Rockies in the West, all due to another clueless gesture by the same Rockies brain trust that brought you the “God’s team” declaration in Sports Illustrated and the monumental World Series ticket fiasco in 2008. At least they are number one in something.

The Baseball Observer