Tuesday, July 1, 2008

LAST PLACE!!!

Clint Hurdle had to have fallen asleep last night, the last day of June, 2008, because there is simply no other explanation for what happened to the Rockies.

It was certainly hot enough, the temperature nestled in the high 80's at game time, with no breeze to cool Miller/Coors Field. Besides, the Rockies had an 8-3 lead in the top of the sixth, what could happen?

Clint must have gone to the happy snoring place and didn't notice that De La Rosa and Speier gave up 5 runs to tie the game.

He surely could not have been awake when some knucklehead sent in the closer, Brian "Tito" Fuentes, in the ninth with the game knotted at 8 runs apiece.

He had to be snoozing, of course, because no Major League manager would ever put his closer into a tie game, so one of the players, probably Troy Tulowitzki, must have picked up the phone and pretended he was Clint calling for Tito.

Fuentes must have been shocked and not properly warmed up, because he was three runs down before he even knew what was happening.

Somebody must have awakened Vizcaino and sent him out in a daze, because he dished up two tantalizing gopher balls to Gerut and Gonzalez which were promptly smashed out of the park.

Former Rockie farmhand Jody Gerut's blast came with two runners on base while Edgar Gonzalez' solo shot was his 4th hit of the night.

Clint couldn't have awoken for the bottom of the ninth, because he never would have pinch-hit for legendary slugger Todd Helton, and if he did, he certainly would not have substituted Scott "Poodle" Podsednick, the light, almost imperceptibe-hitting outfielder, especially with Todd going 2 for 4 on the night with a ringing RBI double off Greg Maddux in the fourth.

There is just no way Clint would have done that, no way. No way he would let San Diego slip past Colorado, leaving them mired in last place, no way.

Way.