Baylor Lands in Phoenix with a Thud

Don Baylor, former manager and 5-time hitting coach, has landed again, not in the managerial position he craved, but as the hitting coach for the hapless Arizona Diamondbacks. Apparently Arizona intends to build on their accomplishment of striking out more than any other team in the Major Leagues. Diamondback executives must have felt they had gone as far as they could go with their old coach and needed someone who could impart new whiffing techniques to the team's batters. Baylor is the only remaining proponent of the "Use Your Head" school of hitting, which teaches actually hitting the ball with the head or helmet, rather than using it to think. This approach has been so popular that Mr. Baylor has been asked to teach it to 5 different teams in his eight years as a batting instructor. He used approximately the same approach in his years as the manager in Colorado and Chicago, where he holds the record for the most losses in a single season by a Cubs team.
Good luck, Arizona! Maybe Don and the D'backs will rise from their own ashes like the mythical Phoenix. At least we know the Arizona hitters will be replacing some of those K's with HBP's.